cows and pigs are destroying the planet. I cant have a steak or a bacon sarny now without causin another island to disapear beneath the waves.Christ, what can I do without feeling guilty?
It's obvious, shoot some cows and pigs, cos they're destroying the planet. And eat them. The way I read it, cow farts are threatening the environment, therefore if you kill and eat a cow, that's one less cow farting.
Anyhow, I've known about this cow fart thing for years, it's not exactly a hold the front page job. And has anybody measured how much methane a vegetarian produces after consuming a nut and lentil bake?
Still, I have this notion to put all this to rights. What we need is a collector, a kind of inflatable nappy, which can be fitted to a cow's arse to collect the flammable gaseous content of the bovine exhaust, whilst allowing liquid and solids to fall through for fertilisation and wattle and daub making purposes (gotta have wattle and daub for those coves who wish a return to some mythical agrarian utopia that we never actually lost cos it never actually existed, unless you're a hobbit).
We (when I say "we," I'm probably thinking "they," if I'm honest) could then collect, or
"harvest" the methane whilst milking the cows, and use it for fuel - district heating would lend it self nicely to such an enterprise. Presto - we reduce the production of greenhouse gases, protecting the environment, whilst producing large quantities of free fuel which reduces the reliance on fossil fuels, still further protecting the environment - it's what lovers of business jargon might call a win-win situation.
Right, where's me prize for me invention?