Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Username: Password:

Author Topic: Fartin  (Read 1916 times)

wasp

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 543
Fartin
« on: 30 October 2009, 05:44:41 PM »

cows and pigs are destroying the planet. I cant have a steak or a bacon sarny now without causin another island to disapear beneath the waves.Christ, what can I do without feeling guilty?
Logged

Mick

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 503
Re: Fartin
« Reply #1 on: 30 October 2009, 08:56:36 PM »

cows and pigs are destroying the planet. I cant have a steak or a bacon sarny now without causin another island to disapear beneath the waves.Christ, what can I do without feeling guilty?
It's obvious, shoot some cows and pigs, cos they're destroying the planet. And eat them. The way I read it, cow farts are threatening the environment, therefore if you kill and eat a cow, that's one less cow farting.

Anyhow, I've known about this cow fart thing for years, it's not exactly a hold the front page job. And has anybody measured how much methane a vegetarian produces after consuming a nut and lentil bake?

Still, I have this notion to put all this to rights. What we need is a collector, a kind of inflatable nappy, which can be fitted to a cow's arse to collect the flammable gaseous content of the bovine exhaust, whilst allowing liquid and solids to fall through for fertilisation and wattle and daub making purposes (gotta have wattle and daub for those coves who wish a return to some mythical agrarian utopia that we never actually lost cos it never actually existed, unless you're a hobbit).

We (when I say "we," I'm probably thinking "they," if I'm honest) could then collect, or "harvest" the methane whilst milking the cows, and use it for fuel - district heating would lend it self nicely to such an enterprise. Presto - we reduce the production of greenhouse gases, protecting the environment, whilst producing large quantities of free fuel which reduces the reliance on fossil fuels, still further protecting the environment - it's what lovers of business jargon might call a win-win situation.

Right, where's me prize for me invention?
Logged
The Badger is back

wasp

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 543
Re: Fartin
« Reply #2 on: 31 October 2009, 08:30:49 PM »

Knocked off three cows and a pig before breakfast. Thanks for pointin me in the right direction, Mick.
Logged

Mick

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 503
Re: Fartin
« Reply #3 on: 31 October 2009, 10:49:14 PM »

Knocked off three cows and a pig before breakfast. Thanks for pointin me in the right direction, Mick.
Good man! That's the spirit!
Logged
The Badger is back

epun

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 174
Re: Fartin
« Reply #4 on: 02 November 2009, 06:57:34 PM »

bring on global warming!!! with a good sea level rise my house will be on a beach,  8)
Logged

Ged

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 392
Re: Fartin
« Reply #5 on: 03 November 2009, 08:15:13 AM »

bring on global warming!!! with a good sea level rise my house will be on a beach,  8)

That's just selfish!! Think about the problems of coastal places such as Portsmouth, Teesside and Liverpool being under water. Ooh you do have a point though.
Logged

Tragic

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 835
Re: Fartin
« Reply #6 on: 05 November 2009, 10:34:46 PM »

bring on global warming!!! with a good sea level rise my house will be on a beach,  8)

That's just selfish!! Think about the problems of coastal places such as Portsmouth, Teesside and Liverpool being under water.

Yeah the scouse coonts would move inland... >:(

ctid
Logged
City fan since birth, first match in '81, season ticket holder since '91 & glory hunter since '11...

epun

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 174
Re: Fartin
« Reply #7 on: 06 November 2009, 07:30:00 AM »

bring on global warming!!! with a good sea level rise my house will be on a beach,  8)

That's just selfish!! Think about the problems of coastal places such as Portsmouth, Teesside and Liverpool being under water.

Yeah the scouse coonts would move inland... >:(

ctid

would be funny watching them paddle by in little rubber dingys
Logged

Mick

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 503
Re: Fartin
« Reply #8 on: 07 November 2009, 09:23:18 PM »

bring on global warming!!! with a good sea level rise my house will be on a beach,  8)

That's just selfish!! Think about the problems of coastal places such as Portsmouth, Teesside and Liverpool being under water.

Yeah the scouse coonts would move inland... >:(

ctid

would be funny watching them paddle by in little rubber dingys
Little rubber dinghies that they'd stolen....
Logged
The Badger is back

Ged

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 392
Re: Fartin
« Reply #9 on: 08 November 2009, 10:38:01 AM »

Thievin' pirates off the coast of Somalia have no trouble paddlin' little dinghies.
Logged

Ged

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 392
Re: Fartin
« Reply #10 on: 08 November 2009, 10:40:44 AM »

Little rubber dinghies that they'd stolen....
They wouldn't have stolen them. They'll have "borrowed them from the coast guard" on the grounds that there wasn't a coast to guard any more.
Logged

Tragic

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 835
Re: Fartin
« Reply #11 on: 08 November 2009, 07:27:03 PM »

bring on global warming!!! with a good sea level rise my house will be on a beach,  8)

That's just selfish!! Think about the problems of coastal places such as Portsmouth, Teesside and Liverpool being under water.

Yeah the scouse coonts would move inland... >:(

ctid

would be funny watching them paddle by in little rubber dingys
Little rubber dinghies that they'd stolen....

Nah it'd be a coracle (sp?) made from hub caps...

ctid
Logged
City fan since birth, first match in '81, season ticket holder since '91 & glory hunter since '11...

wasp

  • Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 543
Re: Fartin
« Reply #12 on: 09 November 2009, 11:50:17 PM »

Just for the fun of it I'll repeat my true scouser joke. "is that formby job centre?"  "Nyearh" "Can I speak to the Disability Employment Adviser?"   
"Sorry, she's on long term sick!"
Logged